The Talk
by aD1990
Summary: No slash! Castiel and Dean are on their way to the whore house and Dean makes sure Cas has the knowledge. Sort of deleted scene from the 5.03 episode. Rated M for the vocabulary It's humorous!


**Alright, first SPN fic! Hope you'll like it!**

**It's not a slash fic! It's rated M for the vocabulary and adult talk (well, someone has to educate innocent Cas, right?).**

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They were slowly driving along the highway. Neither of them would say a word. Dean would keep his eyes on the road and Castiel would stare out the window on his right. The Impala's radio was softly playing _The Calm and the Crying Wind_ by Trampled by Turtles and the tune was soothing the atmosphere.

Dean looked at Cas, his own private guardian Angel, the one that had rescued him from Hell. In time, he had grown impressively fond of the Angel and that simple fact had even surprised Dean himself, for he wasn't one to bond easily, especially with anything that wasn't human, but damn, that nerdy Angel could really grown on you! Castiel was always there when Dean needed him, and then some. There was nothing Castiel wouldn't do for Dean, and the feeling was mutual.

The young Winchester softly smiled as he observed Castiel. Although the Angel wasn't one to allow emotions to transpire, his anxiety was obvious and it amused Dean. Castiel, the Angel that had gladly dived all the way to Hell to retrieve a soul was paralyzed. They were on their way to the nearest whore house where Cas could finally, after so many innumerable years -or centuries- lose his virginity. Dean wouldn't allow him to die without having a bite of one of Earth's most overwhelming pleasure. But maybe Castiel would need some advices before getting started, Dean guessed.

"So, Cas, err-" he began, but wasn't sure how to put it. After all, he had never had such a talk with anyone before, especially not an Angel...

Hearing his name, Castiel slowly turned his gaze from the window to look at Dean.

"Well, are you, err- you know what you're supposed to do, right? With the girl, I mean..." Dean said, the tone of his voice expressing his discomfort.

Castiel, as usual, frowned. "Yes, of course, I do."

Another habit of his was to never elaborate, so Dean made his usual face, raising his eyebrows to show he was expecting more than a five-word answer.

Sensing he wasn't abiding by the human norms and that more was expected from him, Castiel reluctantly went on. "I'm supposed to put Jimmy's penis inside the girl's vagina," he said blankly, looking straight at the road in front of him.

Dean opened his eyes widely. He hadn't expected such a crude answer -and realized he should have had, for the Angel was accustomed to giving straight answers. Dean was glad Sam wasn't there with them in such an awkward situation. "Geez, Cas, you don't need to be so straightforward, man! And don't say "Jimmy's penis"! It really sounds wrong...and weird!"

"I didn't mean to shock you, I'm sorry," Castiel retorted in his monotonous tone.

"Well whatever... You're right, in any case. But you _do_ know you need to get it up first, right? And don't ask me "get what up" because I swear..."

"Yes, I'm aware."

"And? Can you guys even do that?" Dean asked as Cas, once again, failed to elaborate his answer.

"Yes," Cas answered, his voice lower than usual.

"So what, you know that from experience, or something?"

Castiel resumed to stare through the window on his right again.

"Look, man, I hate that kind of man-to-man talk just as much as you do," Dean reassured, "but we gotta have it while we still can if you don't want to seem too naive and innocent to the girl. I'm just tryin' to help, here. But I need you to join the conversation, dude. Besides, if you want any advice, I have the knowledge in this area, so just ask!"

Castiel simply rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort.

_What a child...!_ Dean thought to himself.

"Well, yes..." Cas said after a little while. "I know that from experience. A friend... an Angel friend who's lived on Earth for quite a while now told me he was... well- he was used to..._be_ with women." Castiel wasn't sure how to say it without shocking his human friend once again.

"Ok, so it's no _your_ personal experience, then? It's your friend's."

"Yes, but if it works with him, it will work with me."

Dean slowly nodded. "So you've never had a boner?" he asked, and this time it was more out of curiosity. Cas didn't answer but looked down and Dean lowered his head, trying to maintain eye contact with Cas. It wasn't easy, since he had to watch the road and Castiel kept avoiding his eyes.

"No," the Angel finally answered.

Dean raised his eyebrows, eyes on the road ahead. "Well... There's always a first, I guess..."

The boys didn't speak for a little while, after which, Dean said "Well, you got this, then?"

"Yes, I believe I should be alright."

"Good!" Dean answered, not totally convinced, as he parked the car. Before they got off, he added "Look, the girl will pretty much do all the work. Just... get your motor running, alright?"

Castiel thought about Dean's last statement as the human got off the car. He wasn't sure he had gotten Dean's meaning -or reference- as far as the motor was concerned, but he guessed it must have something to do with "getting it up" as it seemed it was the main thing that got Dean worried. He got off the Impala after taking a deep breath.

"It's gonna be alright, Cas!" Dean reassured, putting his arm around Castiel's neck and walking towards the entrance. "You'll see, you're gonna love it! Trust me, man!"

"I trust you, Dean."

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**Author's Note: So what did you think? I'd like to know your opinion on this!**

**Thanks for taking the time to read!**


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